I was there with you.

When your heart hurt from crying so hard…

I held you.

When the world turned its back…

I have been there and was there with you.

When you forgot what hope looked like….

I looked straight into you eyes.

When you were alone with the thoughts that would not quit…

I was in the room thinking of you.

You are not alone.  Never will be. Never can be. Remember “do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Is. 41:10

I will not let you go.

Now to be fair to my former misinformed self, my former big dream come true expectations were not without merit.  There was the time a big time producer came to the small town coffee shop I was playing at to hear the headliner.  There were the multiple times I played shows with big name artists with Grammy’s and tour buses. There were the 2 times multi-millionaires walked through the doors of my church where I led music and showed interest in my music and investing in my dream.  There was the time the president of a major guitar company started to help me get me name out there and helped me get my music in the hands of some important radio people. There was the time that I moved to Nashville and had brief connections with major players in the music world.  Don’t get me wrong…I am MORE than grateful for all of the opportunities I have been given and the people with great intentions that have helped me and shown interest along the way. My point is that my former self had a reason for dreaming big and expecting a needle in haystack reaction.

Reflecting on these past ‘missed’ opportunities brings about alot of questions.  Did they not work out because of lack of talent? Did I do all I could do to put legs on these opportunities?  Would I be the person I am today if one of these opportunities had come up big?

To be honest in many ways I am glad that none of these past opportunities never panned out. I don’t think I was ready for success on many, many, many levels.  I sometimes wonder if I would be today even.

Recently I have been watching and reading alot of biographical stories and articles on people who are or have been extremely successful. People from U2 to Ben & Jerry’s. It’s very interesting because no matter how many stories you hear about someone who worked hard for years to make something a success you always expect that to be the exception.  In truth there are very very few fairy tale stories. Most of the richest and most successful people today spent their initial years scratching and clawing their way into their field.  Ben & Jerry’s didnt invent ice cream. They didnt even make anything all that different initially.  They simply had a dream and took baby steps getting to where they are today. They opened a modest shop and made the tables, chairs and counters themselves.  They took a $5 college course on making ice cream.  Baby Steps.

And I think (just like all things in life) struggles, hardship and baby steps result in an appreciation, understanding, patience and respect that no overnight sensation can buy. This is why the Oprah’s and Bill Gates of this world still have money and success and countless superstar athletes, actors and musicians go broke and lose everything within a few years following the spotlight.

I seem to remember Romans 5: 3-5 in all of this.

So hear I sit with 35+ songs, a dream and time. Baby steps.

So here it is and here you are.

I am excited to open myself up to the world again in this format. I am excited to talk about all things that were not fully or maturely present in my life before like parenthood, songwriting, adult life, dreams and the struggle to fall in love with the church again.

I hope to inspire, inform, provoke thought and possibly even anger or cause a stir in some of you.  Doesn’t that sound like fun?

Welp, here goes nothing.